Just as I thought that I was getting comfortable with this whole hospital thing – BAM! I have to rotate to a new floor, which means new nurses & new security codes to get into the supply & laundry rooms. The security codes don’t seem like that big of a deal – until you have an incontinent patient and you have to change her bed at least 3 times yourself. (I don’t know how many times the CNA ended up changing the bed…)
Wednesday afternoon, I picked out my “elderly” patient – since I have to write a paper & went home to bundle up for Justin’s water polo game. I know, I know, I should have stayed home & worked on my patient’s careplan instead, but I just couldn’t help myself. I refused to listen to my mom (which generally, isn’t a good idea…) & I went to the game. As I’m driving into Santa Ana, I realized that my Google Maps application isn’t working on my Blackberry. Great, just great. The game is about to start in 5 minutes, so it’s not like I can call Justin and ask him what street the school is on. After ending up near Mater Dei – I realized that I was totally lost – turned around and turned left onto some random street with a familiar name. I made it! Now, I just have to figure out what is going on. I’m getting better at understanding the game – but I still have a long way to go.
After freezing in a long-sleeved shirt, hooded sweatshirt & jacket, and watching the varsity boys win – it’s time to head home to do my careplan….and get ready for a busy two days.
So, the 2 alarm clock idea has worked well – and I wasn’t late at all this week. For the first time, I have a nurse who completely takes me under her wing all day – even to the point where she invites me to take breaks with her. I help her pour Stroke Lady’s crushed up meds into her G-tube. (She has problems swallowing – so all of her meds get crushed up and are inserted directly into her stomach through a tube.) Later, she allows me to “spike” the bag for the tube feeding, which is basically like spiking an IV bag. My classmates are excited and a few of them admit to being jealous when I tell them what I got to do. One hasn’t really gotten to give that many injections, I tell her that my patient has 3 – so maybe she will be able to do some tomorrow.
Thursday was also our midterm evaluations. I always get nervous when it comes to performance evaluations – I don’t know why. It doesn’t matter if it’s at Advanced Wellness or at Ken Clark or sitting in a conference room at Western Medical Center. It’s like I’m afraid that something bad is going to happen & I haven’t been able to prepare myself for it.
Well, nothing bad happens. As a matter of fact, my professor gives me what you could say – glowing – remarks. She tells me that she can see that I was meant to be a nurse – that I have the drive & the compassion to be a great nurse. I almost cry. She also tells me that I need to go on and get my Master’s degree so that I can teach. I almost cry again.
The nurse that I worked with today tells me that she could see me working in the ER or ICU – not on “a boring floor.” She says that she can see that I have great potential. As I say goodbye to my patient – she pulls me closer to her – so that I can hear her. She tells me that I am going to be a great nurse because I really care. I almost cry again!
I have worked so hard to get myself where I am today – I have been to the bottom and crawled my way back up to the top. Many of you were there to support me through it & I am so grateful for that. I spent the majority of the summer completely freaking out about this terrific opportunity that I’ve been presented with. I was afraid that I would fail and disappoint not only myself, but all of you.
During the past eight weeks, I have learned more about myself than I ever have before. It hasn’t been perfect, there have been a lot of tears and “freak outs.” But whenever I thought that I might not be able to do this, I have always had at least one person to tell me that I can. Whether it’s reminding me that there are hundreds, if not thousands, of other people wanting to be in my position as a nursing student at Saddleback (thanks, Justin) or asking me if I really want to be a secretary for the rest of my life (thanks, Mom) or just telling me that they have faith in me & I just need to have faith in myself (thank you to everyone!) - I have been able to find the drive deep down inside of me to keep pushing through.
I found the similar drive on Sunday morning. At Mile 10, Amy & I start cramping up & feel practically every fiber in our muscles stretching and pulling. We never really thought about giving up - I knew that we could do it. As we actually jogged/ran that last ½ mile towards the finish line – we accomplished something that a lot of people didn’t think that we could (myself included.) We finished our first half marathon. As we cross the finish line – holding hands & jumping in the air – I almost cry again.
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