White Sneakers

I looked down at my shoes the other day....they're nothing special, just a pair of New Balance sneakers that I bought because they were mostly white. When I bought them in August 2009, they were so white that they were blinding when I laced them up at 5am during my first semester clinical rotations. These white sneakers have carried me through some of the best days and some of the roughest days that I have encountered in my life.

This past Tuesday, they carried me through a rough day. It was the kind of day that made me question if this is really what I want to be doing. It was the kind of day where I cried on my way home from the hospital. The crying continued when I got home and found myself sobbing in Justin's arms for the majority of the night.

It was the kind of day that made me feel like I was incapable of doing anything to help. My patient was in such excruciating pain, despite a large amount of pain meds, that just walking into his room throughout the day broke my heart. I had to hold the tears back as I sat at the computer charting.

It was an experience that I will take with me throughout my nursing career - to help me to continue to strive to make a difference for my patients, to be their advocate, to help them in their greatest time of need. I know, it sounds like a cliche, but if you know me at all, you know it's the truth.

Today, I saw those sneakers sitting in the front entry way - they're not allowed anywhere else in the house - and they reminded me of how much I've been through & accomplished over the past 18 months.

5 Days

At this time, 5 days from now, I will be "officially" halfway done!!!

I can't believe that this time last year, I received my acceptance letter in the mail...

It has already been one year since J showed up at my office with my "RN" Vermont teddy bear.

I have come so far in the past year & I have grown in so many ways.

I hope that this next year is full of the same amazing & life-changing experiences that this past year has been!

Thank you to everyone who has written a text message, e-mail, facebook post over the past year. The "How are you doing?" - "Want to grab lunch?" - "Want to get a coffee?" - "You can do this" - "If you need me to talk, I'm here" - "I am so proud of you" - "I love you" messages have helped me get through even the most difficult of days.

I'm going to be a nurse...a REAL Nurse. And I'm going to be a great one.

Spring Break 2010

So....it just occurred to me that Spring Break 2008 was two long years ago. What a difference two years makes.

I spent Spring Break 2008 basking in the bright, sunny rays of a little Caribbean island: Aruba (you may have heard of it.) And yes, I asked my parents for permission to go. They were hesitant, but with a little bit of rebellion, I booked my flight anyway. And obviously, I returned safe & sound.

I've traded in fruity drinks with umbrellas with the clearest blue water you've ever seen for a rusted chaise lounge in a fenced-in patio. I still am working on getting a tan, but it's just not the same. But other things in 2010 are so much better than they were in 2008. And if you know, me, it's obvious as to what those things (and people!) are.

As I delve into my first novel in 9 months, I realize that this is just the break that I needed.

So, I'm taking the time to sit back & enjoy my life. This may not have been the St. Patrick's Day celebration that I envisioned (drinking a rare Corona & blogging.) But, I know that there will be plenty of those to come.

My goal(s) for the rest of the semester? Try not to stress out as much, consider what other people are going through (I have a tendency to only think about what I'm going through when I'm freaking out) & remember to just breathe. One day at a time is all we can do.

For now, life is good.

PS: Wear your seatbelts!!!