I looked down at my shoes the other day....they're nothing special, just a pair of New Balance sneakers that I bought because they were mostly white. When I bought them in August 2009, they were so white that they were blinding when I laced them up at 5am during my first semester clinical rotations. These white sneakers have carried me through some of the best days and some of the roughest days that I have encountered in my life.
This past Tuesday, they carried me through a rough day. It was the kind of day that made me question if this is really what I want to be doing. It was the kind of day where I cried on my way home from the hospital. The crying continued when I got home and found myself sobbing in Justin's arms for the majority of the night.
It was the kind of day that made me feel like I was incapable of doing anything to help. My patient was in such excruciating pain, despite a large amount of pain meds, that just walking into his room throughout the day broke my heart. I had to hold the tears back as I sat at the computer charting.
It was an experience that I will take with me throughout my nursing career - to help me to continue to strive to make a difference for my patients, to be their advocate, to help them in their greatest time of need. I know, it sounds like a cliche, but if you know me at all, you know it's the truth.
Today, I saw those sneakers sitting in the front entry way - they're not allowed anywhere else in the house - and they reminded me of how much I've been through & accomplished over the past 18 months.
